Txec Danihél dal Már.
Group: citizens
(555 posts total)
(last post: March 12, 2008 - 20:54) | perhaps I should throw my hat into the ring for the losers office... I mean Seneschal's office. The platform will be terribly complex and ultimately useless but I think I can address most of the issues that they think are vaguely important.
Immigration: Simple solution really. Let's hog tie folks on the street and drag their sorry butts in here here. Of course we need to put them into Mariiitiiiimiii province as it is apparently empty. We can advertise for the voluntary kind of citizen on the side of buses and Starbux coffee cups if we really want the Starbux drinkin kind of nimrod in here.
ADVERTISE ADVERTISE ADVERTISE! We must advertise! Forget podcasts! That is just a way for technonerds to play and show their basically worthless skillz. What we need is SEX. SEX always sells. You probably would not have read this far if i had not put the word SEX in capital letters. People always see SEX. Even when it is buried in some piece of non-literary crap posing as a manifesto which has nothing to do with SEX. Come to Talossa and see SEX. SEX SEX SEX! The Republic has no SEX appeal. We must work on that. I think we ought to make motion picture films featuring SEX and TALOSSA. See there how effectively I have blended SEX and TALOSSA. Now TALOSSA is SEXy. Haha top that!
I think we need an Air Force. Not sure what it would do and how it would help our growing immigration issues but hey this is on the spur of the moment and kind of an exercise in surrealist politix so what the hey. Let's explore the issue a little. hmmm well TALOSSAN airplane would be SEXy. Yeah that is the ticket.
Information and technology-
Well this is an issue really. Could be solved fairly easily if everybody would move to Maricopa and then we could set up a phone tree to relay important information really really fast. I also think this would stimulate real world involvment into TALOSSA. Which like UltraBRite toothpast is SEXy! This is a problem... TALOSSA has become blips and beeps on a computer screen and everyone forgets that behind those blips are human beings just trying to have fun just like everyone else around here. SO then the issue really becomes why doesn't have the same kind of fun that I like to have. Get off your high horse and join me in my fun that will solve that problem. Txec dM's way is ALWAYS the best way because he LOVEs SEX and TALOSSA! If you have read this far then you should probably have your head examined.
But anyway I digress only ever so slightly. The webpages of our Reublic have many issues not the least of which is that they are damned ugly. No SEX appeal whatsoever! Who picked those colors? And has that person been expelled yet? If they haven't my first order of business will be to expell the person or persons responsible for such a travesty upon the eyes! We must simply must have better looking webpages and they must tell the story of TALOSSA, be written by someone who LOVEs TALOSSA, and finally makes TALOSSA SEXy.
We need in this vein a real honest to gawd paper magazine of some kind. Something that will appeal to the tactile senses of people as well as being visually stimulating. My dream of the Orange zine which is fading into nothingness with each passing day would not appeal to many people. But if we all put our heads together and came up with a good idea we could make Miestra do all the work on putting it together, writing every article, and handling the subscriptions and mailouts.
Of course you realise that all the subscriptions revenue simply must go to fund our burgeoning Air FOrce, after the Seneschal's office takes a small cut of course.
Let's do away with the Court. We have two of our most talented citizens being terribly under-utilised in an area of TALOSSA which is not SEXy and eats up bandwidth that we are paying for.
Foreign Relations--
Now that is a SEXy topic. TALOSSA needs a seat on the United Nations. Our contribution to world harmony and cross cultural understanding is underestimated. I think we should join the community of nations by laying claim to the Spratley Islands. What the hell? Everybody else does it why not us? Are we not a nation? Prick us do we not shout meaningless phrases at the top of our lungs?
Language--
Heck yeah I am all for language. How would I be able to write this drivel if it weren't for language. Get one, use one, butcher and mutilate the rest. We should adopt the language of the Pygmies! Yeah! They are truly an underestimated demographic and very underrepresented in our new SEXy Republic of TALOSSA which I LOVE.
My Dream Team-
THis is a tough one really but I think we should have Halle Berry is some position. Charlize Theron in another. And for giggles we need Phyllis Diller in charge of leather.
What about Bill Clinton he ain't doing much these days... he needs a job too.
Now I realise that this is just a small overview of a much larger plan and I will probably never write anything like this every again or even add to this one so I will make myself available for questions from the Eestimats Dpts at their earliest convenience.
Txec dal Már
Gubner of the greatest province in all of Talossa... MARICOPA... the largest and the best! Face it... the other ones are just silly.
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