Gödafrďeu Válcadác’h
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(3164 posts total)
(last post: March 14, 2008 - 15:24)
Citizen #6:
Gödafrďeu Válcadác’h | Typo: §1.1.2 - add a comma between "secular" and "federal"
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 1
Currently, §1.1.3a says, "The population, by means of elections, exercises this authority".
This line conflicts with §2.2.19 that says "...shall present that bill to the people in a referendum"
Therefore, §1.1.3a shall be stricken from the Draft Constitution.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 2
§1.1.1b denotes the territories of the Republic of Talossa. Currently, our provinces are based on the boundaries of United States census tracts. However, in the last census, what was the northern boundary of the northernmost census tract of Maritiimi province was changed such that what was once Vuode Beach is now in the same census tract as the northern section of Maritiimi province.
It may very well be that our territorial boundaries will change and be rearranged many, many times. A good constitution is one that does not have to be changed very often. This alone makes the wisdom of demarcating our territories in the main body of our Constitution questionable.
Therefore, the entirety of §1.1.3 shall be stricken and replaced with the following:
§1.1.3a: Be it known that the provinces that seceded from the Kingdom of Talossa on 1 June, 2004 were Maritiimi-Maxhestic, Maricopa, Florenciâ, and Cézembre.
§1.1.3b: The provinces and territories of the Republic of Talossa shall be defined in a Law of Territory that shall be created and amended by the same methods prescribed for amending this constitution. The Law of Territory shall be exclusively for the purpose of demarcating and defining the provinces and territories of the Republic of Talossa.
§1.1.3c: Until the original promulgation of an amended Law of Territory, a Law of Territory shall be promulgated at the same moment as the ratification of this constitution and shall contain the definitions of provinces and territories as prescribed in Article II of the Provisional Constitution.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 3
The capitol of the Republic needs to be an actual city, not just a building.
Therefore, §1.1.8 shall be stricken in its entirety and replaced with the following:
§1.1.8a: The capital of the Republic of Talossa shall be Cüf City, named after Republic Citizen Bill Cooper.
§1.1.8b: The boundaries of Cüf City shall be defined in a future version of the Law of Territory.
§1.1.8b: The capitol building of the Republic of Talossa shall be the Mitchell Building in the province of Port Maxhestic.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 4
Currently, §1.1.9 reads in italics as follows, with my comments interspersed throughout:
§1.1.9: The political parties of the Republic participate in the formation of the political spirit of the people.
This sentence is redundant. Who is the government to define what a political party says and does so long as that party conforms to the rule of law?
Their internal organization must conform to democratic ethics.
Who gets to define "democratic ethics"? This section is a breeding ground for Ben-esque abuses.
They must openly report their finances."
To whom?
§1.1.9 is intended to foster democratic behavior in political parties, but this section, as it currently stands, could be abused by people with less-than-honorable intentions to shut down opposition parties.
Therefore, §1.1.9 is stricken in its entirety and replaced with the following:
§1.1.9: Political parties shall openly report their finances to the people. The frequency and manner of such reporting shall be determined by law.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 5
§1.1.11 is vague. Therefore, it shall be stricken in its entirety and replaced with the following:
§1.1.11: All officials and civil servants, elected or otherwise, of this Republic, be they federal-level or otherwise, are, in spirit if not in letter, servants of the entire community. To all these persons, freedom of political opinion and association are assured.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 6
In §1.4.13, the phrase "with the criminal laws" is vague in that the word "the" does not clearly state what legal jurisdictions are at play.
Therefore, the entirety of §1.4.13 shall be replaced with the following:
§1.4.13: Associations, the objects or activities of which conflict with the criminal laws of the home country of the person in question or of the Republic of Talossa, the former taking precedence over the latter, or which are directed against the constitutional order or the concept of international relations, are prohibited.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 7
The last sentence of §1.4.18 invites abuse and trouble: who gets to define "common danger"? And let's define "common danger".
§1.4.18 shall be stricken and replaced with the following:
§1.4.18: The home is sacred. Searches of one's home may be ordered only by a majority of the High Cort and may be carried out only by way of a mode to be determined by law.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 8
The final dependent clause of §1.4.19 is ambiguous. What are the implied "duties"?
Therefore the phrase "but implies duties" shall be stricken from §1.4.19, which shall now read thusly: "The right to ownership of and the protection of property shall be guaranteed."
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 9
The word "liability" in §2.2.13 is vague. Liability on whose part?
Additionally, this could be used to protect a nefarious Parliament from legitimate lawsuits pertaining to purposely-fraudulent reports.
Therefore, §2.2.13 shall be stricken in its entirety.
G. V. 3rd Constitutional Draft - Amendment 10
§2.1.1 shall be stricken in its entirety and replaced with the following:
§2.1.1a: The President of the Republic (in the national language: el Prüm Citaxhien) is the Head of State of the Republic and the defender of the Constitution.
§2.1.1b: The Deans of the Provisional Governing Council shall be recognized as having been Heads of State.
* * *
Typo in §1.4.30: Capitalizing the word "Courts" implies the existence of an particular organization or body bearing the name "Courts". Not capitalizing this word solves this problem and lets the whole of the judiciary of the Republic in on the fun.
Question: Are the text headings such as "Election of the President", etc. parts of the official text of the Constitution?
G. V.
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